I'm really fascinated by your struggles with Orthodox Judaism. My husband's brother and his wife are "Modern Orthodox" and atheist (I posted about this in weirdjews and now have 3 kids (and aren't done). I don't really care what BIL/SIL choose to do, but I am concerned about those kids. I'm atheist/non-practicing, but I suppose I can't escape my heritage. Anyway, I can more relate to the Jewish community than any other, even if I'm not comfortable with a lot of the "assumptions" there.