Random Fun and Procrastination
Jan. 3rd, 2005 03:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
balmofgileadI keep on pledging to stay away from this stuff, but it's just so bizarre that I can't help myself. It's all true, by the way.
(I'm intentionally staying away from things like "I refused to check my brain at the door.")
1. When we first joined the community, I had just learned some interesting tidbits of dog anatomy and felt compelled to call out "Male dog! Female dog!" as appropriate whenever passing one.
2. At the tender age of nine, I gave the neighbor children a lesson on puberty, complete with illustrations from our encyclopedia and atlas of the human body. Some of these people didn't have encyclopedias in their homes specifically because of the 'objectionable content.'
3. I refused to memorize Ethics of the Fathers in third grade because I thought it was stupid to memorize things that hadn't been taught or discussed. No one listened to me and I got an F on my report card.
4. When my mother told me a joke about the blessing for LSD (tefilas ha'derech--the traveler's prayer)--and then explained to me what LSD was--I thought it was hilarious and begged her to tell it at someone's Sabbath meal. They weren't amused.
5. I was an only child in a world where siblings meant Status and sixth grade recess talk was centered largely on the newest developmental stage your baby brother had reached or the cute thing your sister had done.
6. When they handed out censored copies of The Crucible, I went to the library and found the parts that had been censored out. And shared it with anyone interested. Incidentally, they did a really bad job censoring, because the school library had an unaltered copy of the book.
7. I have a low tolerance for Miami Boys Choir (try songs 3, 4 & 5) played at full blast. Or at any volume, actually.
8. I was secretly rather happy when my dog ran around the neighborhood playfully terrorizing the neighbor kids. I thought they deserved it for asking stupid questions like "Do dogs eat grass?" and for generally being closed-minded.
9. I was raised on music like "Naughty Songs for Boys and Girls" and "Funky Favorites" (weird oldies music) and "Free to be You and Me" (70s-era "boys can have dolls and women can be explorers" record--when my mom played it in carpool, she got a phone call from an irate mother, whose daughter found it objectionable because it was "too rock-y"). Other kids had been raised on propaganda-filled things like "The Marvelous Middos [good attributes] Machine" and "Uncle Moishy and the Mitzvah [good deed] Men."
10. When I was heading out to walk our (55-lb) dog at 2 am, the visiting neighbor said that it wasn't appropriate because I might get raped and no one would want to marry me. She seemed kinda surprised when I pointed out that I wouldn't really want to marry anyone that narrowminded anyway. (I've since realized that of course rape has more than simply physical consequences and isn't something to be trivialized, but her reasoning still sucked.)
(I'm intentionally staying away from things like "I refused to check my brain at the door.")
1. When we first joined the community, I had just learned some interesting tidbits of dog anatomy and felt compelled to call out "Male dog! Female dog!" as appropriate whenever passing one.
2. At the tender age of nine, I gave the neighbor children a lesson on puberty, complete with illustrations from our encyclopedia and atlas of the human body. Some of these people didn't have encyclopedias in their homes specifically because of the 'objectionable content.'
3. I refused to memorize Ethics of the Fathers in third grade because I thought it was stupid to memorize things that hadn't been taught or discussed. No one listened to me and I got an F on my report card.
4. When my mother told me a joke about the blessing for LSD (tefilas ha'derech--the traveler's prayer)--and then explained to me what LSD was--I thought it was hilarious and begged her to tell it at someone's Sabbath meal. They weren't amused.
5. I was an only child in a world where siblings meant Status and sixth grade recess talk was centered largely on the newest developmental stage your baby brother had reached or the cute thing your sister had done.
6. When they handed out censored copies of The Crucible, I went to the library and found the parts that had been censored out. And shared it with anyone interested. Incidentally, they did a really bad job censoring, because the school library had an unaltered copy of the book.
7. I have a low tolerance for Miami Boys Choir (try songs 3, 4 & 5) played at full blast. Or at any volume, actually.
8. I was secretly rather happy when my dog ran around the neighborhood playfully terrorizing the neighbor kids. I thought they deserved it for asking stupid questions like "Do dogs eat grass?" and for generally being closed-minded.
9. I was raised on music like "Naughty Songs for Boys and Girls" and "Funky Favorites" (weird oldies music) and "Free to be You and Me" (70s-era "boys can have dolls and women can be explorers" record--when my mom played it in carpool, she got a phone call from an irate mother, whose daughter found it objectionable because it was "too rock-y"). Other kids had been raised on propaganda-filled things like "The Marvelous Middos [good attributes] Machine" and "Uncle Moishy and the Mitzvah [good deed] Men."
10. When I was heading out to walk our (55-lb) dog at 2 am, the visiting neighbor said that it wasn't appropriate because I might get raped and no one would want to marry me. She seemed kinda surprised when I pointed out that I wouldn't really want to marry anyone that narrowminded anyway. (I've since realized that of course rape has more than simply physical consequences and isn't something to be trivialized, but her reasoning still sucked.)
