balmofgilead (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
balmofgilead) wrote2006-10-02 05:30 pm
balmofgilead) wrote2006-10-02 05:30 pm
on Yom Kippur.
It seems illogical to atone for things I don't believe are sins.
Sure, I've made mistakes this year--too many to list, probably--but they're mistakes based on my internal value system (which is cobbled together from many sources), based on who I want to be and where I want to go in life, not based on Judaic law.
Most Jews, even secular/non-religious Jews, do something to mark Yom Kippur: they fast, they go to synagogue, they pray. I don't understand. To me, it's a charade. You want to be forgiven for doing things wrong during the year? Then try not to f*cking do them! Put your money where your mouth is. You don't believe these things are wrong? Don't believe Jewish law is valid? Don't spend a day fasting and praying for breaking it!
Orthodox people (or perhaps anyone that's affiliated with a movement or has a formal code of religious conduct), well...as much as I may not see eye to eye with them, at least they're being sincere. At least they're not being hypocritical. The atonement is for your little (or big) slip-ups that occurred while you were living a life structured around the laws. Everyone slips up. It's inevitable. But there's a difference (to give a mundane example) between "I missed the bus because I had to stop and tie my shoe," and "I missed the bus because I decided last night not to set my alarm clock to wake me up in time." Now, maybe if you tell your boss that you're sorry you missed the bus and got to work late, s/he won't know which scenario occurred. But God, well, if you believe in God, presumably you believe that God would know what your intentions have been all year. And you know.
I'll admit that I've felt awkward all day, knowing that I'm not doing anything to mark Yom Kippur, while tens of thousands of other non-religious Jews are. Why am I being different? Why am I being stubborn and difficult?
Sure, I believe in atonement. I believe in apologizing and trying to right one's wrongs. I believe in trying to better oneself and one's behavior. But I don't believe in asking God to forgive me. I don't believe in afflicting my soul (the Bible's words, not mine) or my body for 25 hours once a year to get God to like me more.
A yearly or even monthly day of reflection sounds like a good idea, sure. But is Yom Kippur the day to do it? Are the typical Yom Kippur activities good catalysts for that, in me?
Sure, I've made mistakes this year--too many to list, probably--but they're mistakes based on my internal value system (which is cobbled together from many sources), based on who I want to be and where I want to go in life, not based on Judaic law.
Most Jews, even secular/non-religious Jews, do something to mark Yom Kippur: they fast, they go to synagogue, they pray. I don't understand. To me, it's a charade. You want to be forgiven for doing things wrong during the year? Then try not to f*cking do them! Put your money where your mouth is. You don't believe these things are wrong? Don't believe Jewish law is valid? Don't spend a day fasting and praying for breaking it!
Orthodox people (or perhaps anyone that's affiliated with a movement or has a formal code of religious conduct), well...as much as I may not see eye to eye with them, at least they're being sincere. At least they're not being hypocritical. The atonement is for your little (or big) slip-ups that occurred while you were living a life structured around the laws. Everyone slips up. It's inevitable. But there's a difference (to give a mundane example) between "I missed the bus because I had to stop and tie my shoe," and "I missed the bus because I decided last night not to set my alarm clock to wake me up in time." Now, maybe if you tell your boss that you're sorry you missed the bus and got to work late, s/he won't know which scenario occurred. But God, well, if you believe in God, presumably you believe that God would know what your intentions have been all year. And you know.
I'll admit that I've felt awkward all day, knowing that I'm not doing anything to mark Yom Kippur, while tens of thousands of other non-religious Jews are. Why am I being different? Why am I being stubborn and difficult?
Sure, I believe in atonement. I believe in apologizing and trying to right one's wrongs. I believe in trying to better oneself and one's behavior. But I don't believe in asking God to forgive me. I don't believe in afflicting my soul (the Bible's words, not mine) or my body for 25 hours once a year to get God to like me more.
A yearly or even monthly day of reflection sounds like a good idea, sure. But is Yom Kippur the day to do it? Are the typical Yom Kippur activities good catalysts for that, in me?
no subject
The frequency thing...mainly it's just that if I were going to set up my own regular time for soulsearching or thinking about what I'd done wrong to other people, it would seem better to do it more than just once a year.