After days of meditating on the concept of doing rather than wasting time and spending a lot of time in my head, I'm actually getting stuff. It's good.
A few days ago I began to realize that eventually, when you're an adult, there's a point where you simply have to create lists and routines if you want to be able to do the things you want to do and not be scattered and verklempt constantly. I think that's been difficult for me because I generally have a really good memory--I'm used to keeping everything in my head. (Until a few years ago, I could remember almost the exact seat I sat in almost all of the classrooms I'd taken classes in since elementary school, even though that information isn't useful. Gradually my brain pushed that stuff out of my head to make room for lots of other stuff.) My brain insists on doing everything extemporaneously, but you can't do everything that way. I mean, not all routine is bad and boring...some of it just functions as a framework within which to do exciting un-routine things without feeling like you're unravelling. Stupid routines like counting out bus money every week or making lunches the night before or doing little mildly unpleasant tasks the minute I think of them make life so much less stressful. Or they could if I accepted them.(I mean, seriously, it's great that sometimes I can sprint to the bus stop in three minutes, but if I "waste" a few minutes by always planning to leave five minutes early, I can be so much calmer...and not have to sprint from the bus to the train and from the train to the next bus.)
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