the crackpipe is no longer clogged up

[balmofgilead]

*sheepish grin*
Speed

2.6 megabits per second
Communications 2.6 megabits per second
Storage 312.7 kilobytes per second
1MB file download 3.3 seconds
Subjective rating Great

Something was wonky with my telephone-jack splitter, or my DSL line magically got a billion (or, uh, 44) times faster when I happened to plug the modem directly into the wall.  I guess I can keep testing over the course of the day to find out...