balmofgilead

Yesterday I recognized that I have guilt about the idea of wearing contact lenses, specifically disposable ones (which are really the best choice at this point--I've tried a few kinds of non-disposables over the years).  I have guilt at the idea that they (and the cleaning solutions) get manufactured and shipped (and worn) and then thrown away when it's perfectly possible to wear glasses instead.  So I have been for the past few years.  But I really prefer to have contacts around--I like the way my eyes look, and glasses hide them. I'm not horribly vain but sometimes I'm horribly self-conscious, and I'm less self-conscious in contacts. 

This weird guilt pops up only with certain things, and I'm not sure exactly what the pattern is.  I think it's related to consumerism and environmentalism, but there are probably life changes I could make that would make a much bigger difference than not wearing contact lenses. (For example, I don't feel this same level of guilt about forgetting to bring reusable shopping bags to the supermarket rather than packing my groceries in disposable plastic bags, and I have no self-consciousness about using reusable bags. And most of the time I forget to bring reusable bags.) It's not really a rational thing. 

I think this is a long-winded way of convincing myself that I need to stop obsessively focusing on costs (financial and otherwise) and just get contact lenses again.  I think.